The Problem with Affirmations…
…how to correctly and permanently program them into your subconscious mind
Who hasn’t done some form of repetitive goal statements known as affirmations? This in order to (re)program the subconscious mind in an effort to accomplish wishes, dreams, goals, targets, build confidence, successes or keeping faith. Whatever you may have tried using affirmations for, you may have noticed that even after repeating the goal statements mornings, afternoons and nights, even for long periods of time… they don’t always seem to stick as much as we would want them too.
An affirmation needs a lot of persistence and conviction in order to stick. Daily repeats, multiple times a day, preferably while in an alpha brainwave state, phrased in the best possible positive manner you can think of. And then, they often still don’t get the desired results. You keep trying, though at some point in doubt, until you eventually give up. You may even have convinced your subconscious mind of your new beliefs, and yet results aren’t presenting themselves into your reality.
The great thing with PSYCH-K® is that there is no need for daily repeats and getting into the alpha brainwave state. The programming of an affirmation is done in mere minutes and the subconscious will accept them easily. Though even then, clients may come back at times, stating their new subconscious beliefs aren’t getting the preferred results.
Seriously, what is that with affirmations or goal statements?
We do our best to format the correct phrase to create a change in our lives, and even after such dedicated efforts the changes do not come to pass. When that happens, there might be more to it than meets the eye!
Ever heard of ‘Secondary Gains’?
Often when a situation persists in your life, it’s because somewhere beneath the surface, we actually do not want them to change. Look at someone wanting to build success. As much as they try to create that success in life by being dedicated, with affirmations and by working hard, they still don’t reach their goals. The person wanting to have success stays put in their current circumstances, no matter how hard they try. That’s where ‘secondary gains’ often play part.
A secondary gain means the current circumstances you are accustomed to also have a gain for you. No matter what situation you might be in right now, there is something to gain from it, which, if you’d change your life, would likely be lost (or so you think). You are convinced in wanting to reach success, while the subconscious mind says ‘nope, cuz then you will lose such and such’.
When the subconscious mind has been running a program for so long [while knowing the bad circumstances also have a secondary gain] you can program any new belief, but it won’t come into fruition due to other beliefs holding more weight.
Examples
Affirmation: ‘I am successful’
Subconscious: ‘That means working longer hours though we value spending time with the family more’
The secondary gain of working a mediocre job, is having time to spend with the family. If now you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you may have a lot less time to spend with family. When your subconscious mind is programmed to value family time, your positive affirmation may stick, but still won’t come into its full effect due to the risk of spending less time with family.
Affirmation: ‘I am healthy and able to do anything I want’
Subconscious: ‘That means nobody will need to care for you anymore, yet we do like the love and attention’
The secondary gain in this case is getting love and attention from our caretakers which holds more value than being healthy. You can use affirmations to get back into health, but as much as the subconscious wants to accept this, getting people to care for us is more important.
As long as we are not willing to look at the secondary gains a dire situation brings us… the desired changes cannot come into reality. The thing is, we do often not realize that we don’t actually have to give up those gains. We really can be successful and still spend valuable time with family. We can be truly healthy, and still have people around us to give us love and attention. It’s often the fear of losing something, which holds back the desired outcome of a new goal.
Talking about fear…
Fear is another reason why a change cannot manifest in our lives. In this example, let’s take money as a desired goal. A client of mine has always been in debt and living (surviving) to make ends meet. Solving his mindset of lack, negative habits and limiting beliefs around money were swiftly resolved within a few PYSCH-K® sessions. Yet change didn’t really happen until the client admitted being actually fearful of having money to spend.
Going from a life of debt and making ends meet, into a situation where he would have money to spend, money to save, or even money to invest, scared him. It was completely out of his comfort zone which he was used to for so many years. He was building his hopes up having money, while at the same time also fearing the money would be lost again. Since such opposite thoughts are cancelling each other out, change couldn’t happen until we worked on these insecurities.
Lastly, we have ‘Belief Duos’
I’m coining this one, so if you hear it anywhere else, it first came from me :)
Belief Duos are something which are 2 of the same kind, yet opposites as well. Since I wrote about money in the previous example concerning fear, I’ll continue on that note with Belief Duos here as well.
A client wants to win the lottery and uses the following affirmation; ‘I am a lottery winner’. At the same time, we test with PSYCH-K® the opposite for this. Stating; ‘Chances to win the lottery are slim’. So this client wants to win the lottery while at the same time being convinced it’s close to impossible to win.
A few more examples
Goal Statement: ‘I am closing this business deal’
Belief: ‘I rather do other business deals’
Goal Statement: ‘I am healthy and strong’
Belief: ‘My health is worrisome’
Goal Statement: ‘I am traveling the world’
Belief: ‘I am afraid of flying’
When a client’s PSYCH-K® tests show a strong belief in both statements, the desired goal cannot come into their reality. The Goal Statement needs to test strong, while the opposite belief needs to be tested weak. As long as the two are strongly embedded into the subconscious mind, no matter how hard the client wants change, it will not happen.
These Belief Duos as I call them, cancel each other out as both beliefs are strongly present in the clients subconscious. Often the client isn’t really aware of this, thinking the new Goal Statement will cancel out the negative one. But it is actually possible to believe in both opposites of a situation or condition. You really want to travel the world, while also being afraid of flying. You can have the desire to be healthy, while also thinking your condition is impossible to heal.
The thing to do here is to replace the negative belief, which is holding us back from reaching our desired circumstances. Affirmations are a great way to create a phrase stating our desired outcomes, which help us move away from the current reality we’re living in. Though when the affirmations seem not to produce any change, then Secondary Gains, fears and/or Belief Duos often are the reason(s) why an affirmation isn’t working for us.
PSYCH-K® can quickly find such conflicting beliefs and resolve them. From there on out the client can look forward to positive changes in their lives. If you ever struggled with getting your affirmations to work out for you, but you feel it failed, than check your beliefs around the subject. You’d be amazed what you’ll be able to find out.
